Fear of Membership in an Existing...but Forgotten Generation

Fear of Membership in a

n Existing...but Forgotten Generation
*****************************************************
BY: Keith H. Seymour
********************
I was looking into the faces...wonderful and cheerful,
yet, somehow...sad, lonely, and forgotten, although remembered faces.
They are the faces of cognizant, intelligent, once...and even still productive faces,
that belong to bodies...no people living....no existing in an assisted living facility.

They are widowed, spinster,and bachelor
parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
People now single due to lost loves whose pictures...are all they possess,
who left them and never returned, or who never found that someone
who is supposed to be ...for everyone.
Still, they are alone...existing with others who may leave them... naturally

The children they loved, the adults they produced,
the existing...no living
friends, co-workers, and families who once expressed
the importance of how valuable these people were to them,
never visit, write, call, or communicate.
Even though they may live near by, of fly across the country
and even... the world for business... or some
luxury vacation.
These people now exist in some assisted living facility.
Therefore by people they once loved and still do
are no longer...a necessity.

I am.... outraged, saddened by this ingratitude...this lack of compassion.
Not only for them...but for me!
I fear... that when I look into the their faces
I may just see my future as a member
of a future existing.... but forgotten generation of people
that will possibly include...me.

Why I Cried...On Mother's Day

WHY I CRIED....ON MOTHERS'S DAY
***********************************
BY: Keith H. Seymour

I went to a Sunday Mass.
It was on Mother's Day.
Afterward, the priest said a special prayer,
and then he sang
a special Mother's Day song
from his native Nigeria.
Part of it in English,
part of it in his native tongue.
While all of this was happening,
I cried.

You see, the mother sitting next to me,
was not you, but merely
a dear family friend,
who was “almost” like a mother
to me... before and after you left.
Still, she was not you.
So, I cried.

I was told
you had been in a better place
these past two years.
“She's with the Holy Mother.”
So, I cried.

It would be just like you
to
discuss my sins...over tea
with the Mother of Christ.
I can almost here you
then pleading
with her omnipotent son.
“God, help him, since I am no longer able!”
So, I cried.


Well intentioned... Christians
told me...the tears I shed for your absence
were selfish, and against God's will.

Well, why shouldn't I cry?
If my tears are act of selfishness,
why shouldn't I be... selfish?
Who is God to tell me how to feel?
What does the omnipotent and omnipresent one know
of such grief?
HE died before HIS Mother,
and it was her who cried not HE!
And although mortal, HIS MOTHER
did not die. She was.....
ASSUMED
Swept up within a whirlwind of the Holy Spirit.
She bore a glorious glow upon her face,
A crown of twelve stars about her head,
and the moon at her feet. According to God's will.

My mother however,
had a face that bore a shade similar to your grey hair.
you left... one man at your head, the other at your feet.
They took you to... a man made oven
where
your earthly body would be de
and turned into...spiritual ashes and dust
According to... your will.
What right does God have
to give HIS Mother
such a glorious exit,
and mine...a lesser one?

Is it because HE IS GOD?
If so, please tell HIM
I think HE is selfish!
For such blasphemous anger,
I truly cry,

Still, I cannot help how I feel!
For... the immortal Jesus has HIS Holy Mary,
not only on Mother's Day, but every day.
Those are the very days
that the absence of my mother-my blessed Patricia
I as a mere mortal man
must constantly deal.

Discourse of Discovery

Discourse of Discovery
*******************

BY: Keith H. Seymour
********************
There was a time…. Once….
No, Often… when you were for me.
You were always with me.
even when
you weren’t actually there.
You see,
I still remember
a time when
You and your spirit
strengthened me.
Even when I didn’t need it,
and always ...when I did.
I never even had to ask for your compassion.
It was always there.
Maybe because you knew that
I feared asking for it
would be a sign of weakness
in your eyes also?
I don’t know.
I just know…
that your compassion was always there.

Ah yes, you and your spirit
would thrust your strengths upon me.
As if they were… hot coals
used to heal my pain.
You had such a loving spirit,
that came with the precious gift
of unconditional love.
It gave me such strength,
and I cherished it.
So, I’ve always tried to provide you
with the same.
Though, I am not sure
that you know this.
Not anymore, not now.

Yes, you are still here…
but not really. Not anymore.
You see… Now,
even when you are present,
I often can’t find you.
You now cause me to feel…
abandoned and alone.
Especially when you are
present or near.
So, even when I know that you are present,
your being of presence…
isn’t.
So now I wonder:
Why do I need or want
You or the presence of your spirit,
when I know that they cause me such pain!!!?

This question has at times
wounded me in ways that
only
I can know…
yet not completely understand.
Causing me to ask,
“Why and when
in my very presence
did you leave me!”

I ask because, well…
I don’t know
when or why
your approval became so conditional-
based upon the status of
such perfect graces.
After all, I know
your weaknesses and failings,
and although it may seem
Imperfectly so to you,
I have always tried to show
how much for you, I care.

I mean…
are my human frailties and errors
so inhumane that I don’t deserve
any sort of pardon,
or chance at restitution
for whatever horrible thing
that I have done to you!?
If so,
then such a horrendous sin
I should most certainly be made aware!
Yet, it seems such a disposition
you are either afraid to explore or know,
or yourself completely unaware.

So whatever the cause of your
sudden secession
from me,
I just want you to know that
I am sincerely sorry.
Yes, I am sorry
if you believe that
your life, mine, or someone else’s
has been a let down for you!
I can’t control that!
I am only able to deal with
the good and bad things
that makes us
me and you.
So I’ll no longer accept
that I must live with your attitude
of judgmental vain-glory.

You see,
it is your problem, not mine
that I am not like you,
or that I am who or what
You
wish me to be!
No. I will no longer allow you
to dictate that or any other
pretense
to me.

Oh yes,
I know
I am not perfect or infallible
like you.
I admit that I have flaws.
My name is not Narcissus!
I admit it! Its true!
I realize that you may not agree,
but I see no healthy logic in apologizing
for being mortal.

Yes, I make mistakes,
and yes…
I’ve even been known to fail.
Yet, in spite of all of this,
I know I’m a good person
Who has and will again
at life succeed.

So, whether you like it or not,
I am still proud to say
I’ve chosen to be the real and special me
Anyway!

A wan....to Feel

A want.... to Feel
**************
BY: Keith h. Seymour
*****************

I want to feel.... I want to feel something special!
I want to feel like,
I have made a positive difference
somewhere, at sometime, for somebody..anybody,
and still do.
I want to feel or have Faith of something special...
even if I am not sure that it is there

Don't apologize, because you think you have offended me
when I have given no such indication.
That makes me feel,
as if I made you feel insecure...
or someone else has,
and you see me as no better.
I want to you to feel secure about me ...as a friend, a person, a human being,
a mere mortal.
I want you to feel and know that you are a special person.
Not just to me, but to others, and more importantly
to GOD.

I don't just want to feel like a valued employee, friend, or family member.
I want to feel like...you know I will listen when you need an ear,
I will be your heart, when you need a reason to care, or your strength
when you are too tired to try.
I want to feel like you know that... I actively and sincerely care.

Even if I never hear a word of thanks,
I want to feel like...
you smiled because I said hello, or because I smiled at you,
or because I was a part of your life... for even a day.

I want to feel... like you believe I am worth the effort
of reminding me that there is a green pasture over the next mountain or hill,
even when all my hopes and dreams ...seemed to have faded and disappeared,
and I have lost hope... none will ever again appear.
I want to feel... that I am so special to you...you refuse to let me give up
on me...you.. us...anything!

I do not want to feel like an obligation, or something
you have gotten used to over time,
the way someone gets used to an unwanted present they feel too guilty to exchange,
or an elderly relative or friend who has your respect
due to their advanced age.
I want to feel like... even with all my failures and frailties
you are proud to have me as part of your past, present, and future.

Maybe the sun did not shine any brighter because I was in your life another day.
Or the moon and the stars had no more majestic a glow,
because you ended your day, knowing I was a part of it.
Still, I would like to feel as if these things were true.
Can't you give me this feeling, when you know I would
for you?

I am not asking, nor do I want you to lie.... or to pretend
I am any more special than you believe me to be
I just want you to acknowledge that I do and always have cared about and for you!
I just need to feel... like I made a positive difference
to you...somebody...at sometime..someplace... somewhere.

Understanding a Truly Valuable Gift

“Understanding A Truly Valuable Gift”
************************************
BY: Keith H. Seymour
I have so little
Yet at the same time…I have so much.
I have less then most,
Yet so many more have so much less than I.
So is it sinful or vain for greater wealth to vie?
Even if such added wealth, would not be hoarded by me,
But shared with even needier children of God
So often ignored… by society?

I have all that I need…God willingly!
Still my needs want more than I have… materially.
I certainly have more material wealth
Than HE…whose head was adorned by thorns…
And whose body enshrouded “The first HOLY robe.
It was HIS test, trials, and tribulations… not mine
That were far greater then Peter, Moses, and Job!

Though I possess by mortal Standards,
So very little wealth,
A far higher power has Gifted me
With a “wealth of Friends,”
That some may number… “just a few.”

It is “this generous spirit” that reminds me…
I am to extend the same “Loving Gift”
In a manner and time that “God… not I decides
“For me to.”