Tuesday, December 26, 2017

    I Tried…..
                                                                        BY: Keith H. Seymour
                                   I Tried, I really did.
                                          I Tried...to be what you wanted
                                                        Me to be,
                                                        But…. I failed.

                                          So, I tried again!
                                             Really! I did!
                                          Only, this time.. I tried to be me.
                                             Or what I thought was what
                                                         I thought
                                                   Was… is… me
                                         That was not good enough either.
                                         Not for you… Not even for me.
                                                        How Pathetic!
                                         I cannot even be… what I want to be!

                                        I even tried to combine and be…
                                        A little of what we both want,
                                                           But still
                                                           I failed.

                                       I know why I failed too,
                    I became wanted not only what I wanted, but what you wanted too.
                           My compromise made me a house divided within myself.
                               I cannot serve two masters and have you respect me
                                                 When I am not sure,
                    No! Scared, of who am becoming, of if that is what I want to be.

                                                 I tried! I really did!
                        This inner conflict has me more afraid of my inner-security
                                                  Than it does of you.

   I tried, I really tried
                                     To please individually, and collectively
                                                    Both me and you.
                                                      So, now I ask:
                                                 What now do I do?
                                             Yes! I really, really tried!

Friday, September 26, 2014

The Laughter in My sleep

                                         THE LAUGHTER IN MY SLEEP
                         BY: Keith H. Seymour
                  Last night,
                                                               I was oddly awakened-
                                                               The laughing voice...so distinct
                                                               that I realized …
                                                               IT was...mine.
                                                               Yes, I accidentally thought of you,
                                                               which caused me
                                                               to spontaneously laugh...
                                                               during my sleep.

                                                               After all,
                                                               it seemed so absurd
                                                               that years of friendship
                                                               could possibly become
                                                               something more.
                                                               So, under the circumstances,
                                                               I couldn't help
                                                               laughing in my sleep.
                                                              That some sobering spirit
                                                               should cause  me to unwittingly...
                                                               profess my love, and ask for yours in return.
                                                               Then  learn that I only
                                                                             get it.

                                                                You  say that you think
                                                                 you may feel
                                                                 the same undying love for me?
                                                                 But need time...
                                                                 to find out for sure?!
                                                                 Which means
                                                                  you may find out
                                                                 that... you don't love me-
                                                                 What  a terribly ironic joke.
                                                                 So, I laughed...during my sleep.


                                                              I am sure God laughed too.
                                                              Only, HIS laugh
                                                              was likely louder.
                                                              For, I merely asked for
                                                              a stress free love.
                                                              Yet, HIS answer

                                                               Then I find out that should these feelings
                                                               mutually exist,
                                                               we might...only
                                                               be able to express them from afar.
                                                               the prospect of your continuing love
                                                               I may eventually lose.
                                                               This thought
                                                               causes me to laugh
                                                               at myself.
                                                               Awake---and in my sleep.

                                                               I laugh
                                                              at... how
                                                              I foolishly admitted
                                                                “I love you!”
                                                             Then again,
                                                             for regretting my revelation
                                                                         to you.
                                                                 Yes, as I slept...
                                                             God probably laughed too.
                                                                 With me? At me?
                                                             I'm not sure which.
                                                             All I really know... is that HE knows
                                                             that you know...that
                                                                “ I truly love you!”
                                                             Also, unlike us... HE
                                                                   presently knows
                                                              Except, HE won't tell me.
                                                              No. HE has left that task
                                                                         to... YOU!
                                                              I guess... the joke is not on me.
                                                              The joke...is me.
                                                              So, I laughed,
                                                              I laughed within... my...sleep.


                                                             Oh... if I had  already been “conscious”
                                                              of how happy you make me feel,
                                                             even when we're apart.
                                                             Even when I'm asleep.
                                                             Maybe, I'd have been happier
                                                             sooner, and consciously laughed aloud
                                                            and with greater frequency
                                                             Then again...
                                                             Maybe not.
                                                            what a waste!
                                                           Such a loss of potential laughter.
                                                             Oh, how extremely sad.

                                                           Yes, our lives may soon depart from one another,
                                                           and then... we may or may not find
                                                                           time will heal
                                                                any newly discovered  feelings
                                                                into... at least...one set of
                                                                open-heart wounds.
                                                                Such good... or not so good fortune
                                                                laughs at me, as I become aware of this newly realized     
                                                                So, I happily think of you,
                                                                while I also laugh... as I sleep.

                                                                Last night I thought of you,
                                                                and awoke
                                                                to my own laughter
                                                                of irony.
                                                                Yes, I really did.
                                                                Maybe we will never know
                                                                 if my timing's too late,
                                                                or if a future romance
                                                                we will at some point obtain.
                                                                But we already know
                                                                our friendship will still forever remain...
                                                                or so we think.
                                                                This I guess,
                                                                is why I laugh
                                                                when I think of you.
                                                                 Even... when I'm asleep.


Saturday, December 7, 2013

Presence of a Need

Presence of a need
By: Keith H. Seymour

You ask me what I want...What I need
that you and other who care about me,
can give.
Some present on a holiday, my birthday, or some other occasion.
I tell you....”I don't know.”
You reply lovingly: “take your time.
Except that what I told you...is a lie.
What I want...what I need...What I can use,
can't be wrapped up in fancy paper,nice ribbons, or anything
you can attach
a store bought.... or even a home made lovingly made card.

No. What I need cannot be purchased, or given.
What I need comes from me.
It is a sense of self, the knowledge that I am appreciated for me.
I need to know that my contributions are worth something
Not just those of material value, for I have so little compared to most,
and so mush more compared to others.
No, I speak of contributions of self, because sometimes....
that is all I have to give.

What I need... what I want...is someone
someone to kiss me good morning, and love me through the night
What good is all the materiel wealth in the world
if I have no one with to share it with...someone to become
part of me...The second part of a once complete
and now incomplete

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The unknown Fear


I was feeling so good, so wonderful!
Then all of a sudden,
this painfully horrifying fear...struck me.
It is a fear worse than one bought on by a nightmare
I am awake. So, I am scared...oh so scared!

It is a fear that makes me want to cry, but stops the tears.
It is a fear that makes me want to scream, but when I try,
no sound emits.
I cry and cry, scream and scream, but no tears and sound is released.
I know that I am afraid, and what I am afraid of is real.
I know it is definitely there. It even lets me know it is there and to be feared.
I just don't know what it is I fear...it won't reveal itself to me!
Therefore, I do not know why this fear exist.

Is it a fear of Justice or injustice?
Is it something I have forgotten... or recalled...but not yet aware?

All I know is that this unknown fear is there!
Maybe knowing this fear is present should be comfort enough.
Maybe not!

At least I can I-dentify it as...an unknown fear.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

When I think of Our Sacred Love

When I Think of Our Sacred Love
BY: Keith H. Seymour
I kiss your lips hello, each morning
before I open my eyes.
Then when awake... your are not there.
When this reality appears... my heart dies.

I reach over to the night table,
where your smiling picture is adorned
by the beads of Holy Church and Holy Mother.
I then pick it up and kiss your smile,
knowing for me...you are my Love...There is no other.
Each night, I pray Holy Beads for our eternally earthly union.
I kiss you goodnight, close my eyes, and for a few brief unconscious hours,
We are consciously together... eating tomatoes, and tuyo
Mahal and Inday...as I dream of you, and you of me,
we happily cry.
For, I know you do the same of my picture and your Holy Beads
in your far away place.
As you close your eyes, and picture my true and faithful love for you,
that is so unmistakably... upon my face .

Your day is my night, my day your night,
and even though separated by thousands of miles, distant lands. and many seas,
we are joined together, by God given love... as our mutual keys.
Someday...and the sooner the better.
whether our eyes our physically open or closed,
we will mutually and concurrently kiss...when our Holy Beads and lives

by God are joined Together.

Friday, December 7, 2012

The Throw-a-way Person

 The Throw-a-Way Person

BY: Keith H. Seymour

                                                 The Throw-a-Way Person
                                                                                                             BY: Keith H. Seymour
I am just a throw a way person
continually attempting to prove
that I valuable... enough to be kept... to receive with sincerity
of my worth as a person, as someone who deserves to be loved and appreciated ...for himself.
I refuse to be appreciated... merely for the material wealth
that I am perceived to produce, provide or possess.
I do not consider it appreciation to be loved
out of the perception...that I may be utilized
to satisfy your sick fantasies, mine, or both...concurrently.

I am a person.. a man
who feels and loves.
In spite of what any stereotypical
female, boss, or anyone else in society may wish to believe
out of their own... self-imposed, or society imposed ignorance,
I have the ability to experience, create, feel, and exhibit

I was not created for the purpose of being a throw-a-way person.
So I won;t be!!!
I will not be... simply because
I actively refuse... to be!!!