The Laughter in My sleep

                                         THE LAUGHTER IN MY SLEEP

            ****************************************

                         BY: Keith H. Seymour

                         *****************************

                  Last night,

                                                               I was oddly awakened-

                                                               by...laughter.

                                                               The laughing voice...so distinct

                                                               that I realized …

                                                               IT was...mine.

                                                               Yes, I accidentally thought of you,

                                                               which caused me

                                                               to spontaneously laugh...

                                                               during my sleep.

                                                               After all,

                                                               it seemed so absurd

                                                               that years of friendship

                                                               could possibly become

                                                               something more.

                                                               So, under the circumstances,

                                                               I couldn't help

                                                               laughing in my sleep.

                                                        

                                                              That some sobering spirit

                                                               should cause  me to unwittingly...

                                                               profess my love, and ask for yours in return.

                                                               Then  learn that I only

                                                                            might

                                                                             get it.

                                                                You  say that you think

                                                                 you may feel

                                                                 the same undying love for me?

                                                                 But need time...

                                                                 to find out for sure?!

                                                                 Which means

                                                                  you may find out

                                                                 that... you don't love me-

                                                                 eventually.

                                                                 What  a terribly ironic joke.

                                                                 So, I laughed...during my sleep.

2

                                                              I am sure God laughed too.

                                                              Only, HIS laugh

                                                              was likely louder.

                                                              For, I merely asked for

                                                              a stress free love.

                                                              Yet, HIS answer

                                                               was...you!

                                                               Then I find out that should these feelings

                                                               mutually exist,

                                                               we might...only

                                                               be able to express them from afar.

                                                               Meaning,

                                                               the prospect of your continuing love

                                                               I may eventually lose.

                                                               This thought

                                                               causes me to laugh

                                                               at myself.

                                                               Awake---and in my sleep.

                                                               I laugh

                                                              at... how

                                                              I foolishly admitted

                                                                       that

                                                                “I love you!”

                                                             Then again,

                                                             for regretting my revelation

                                                                         to you.

                                                                 Yes, as I slept...

                                                             God probably laughed too.

                                                                 With me? At me?

                                                             I'm not sure which.

                                                          

                                                             All I really know... is that HE knows

                                                             that you know...that

                                                                “ I truly love you!”

                                                             Also, unlike us... HE

                                                                   presently knows

                                                                         your...heart.

                                                              Except, HE won't tell me.

                                                              No. HE has left that task

                                                                         to... YOU!

                                                              I guess... the joke is not on me.

                                                              The joke...is me.

                                                              So, I laughed,

                                                              I laughed within... my...sleep.

2

                                                             Oh... if I had  already been “conscious”

                                                              of how happy you make me feel,

                                                             even when we're apart.

                                                             Even when I'm asleep.

                                                             Maybe, I'd have been happier

                                                             sooner, and consciously laughed aloud

                                                            and with greater frequency

                                                             Then again...

                                                             Maybe not.

                                                             Anyway,

                                                            what a waste!

                                                           Such a loss of potential laughter.

                                                             Oh, how extremely sad.

                                                           Yes, our lives may soon depart from one another,

                                                           and then... we may or may not find

                                                                                    that

                                                                           time will heal

                                                                any newly discovered  feelings

                                                                into... at least...one set of

                                                                open-heart wounds.

                                                                Such good... or not so good fortune

                                                                laughs at me, as I become aware of this newly realized     

                                                                                   love.

                                                                So, I happily think of you,

                                                                while I also laugh... as I sleep.

                                                                Last night I thought of you,

                                                                and awoke

                                                                to my own laughter

                                                                of irony.

                                                                Yes, I really did.

                                                        

                                                                Maybe we will never know

                                                                 if my timing's too late,

                                                                or if a future romance

                                                                we will at some point obtain.

                                                                But we already know

                                                                our friendship will still forever remain...

                                                                or so we think.

                                                                This I guess,

                                                                is why I laugh

                                                                when I think of you.

                                                                 Even... when I'm asleep.

2

Presence of a Need

Presence of a need

***************

By: Keith H. Seymour

You ask me what I want...What I need

that you and other who care about me,

can give.

Some present on a holiday, my birthday, or some other occasion.

I tell you....”I don't know.”

You reply lovingly: “take your time.

Except that what I told you...is a lie.

What I want...what I need...What I can use,

can't be wrapped up in fancy paper,nice ribbons, or anything

you can attach

a store bought.... or even a home made lovingly made card.

No. What I need cannot be purchased, or given.

What I need comes from me.

It is a sense of self, the knowledge that I am appreciated for me.

I need to know that my contributions are worth something

Not just those of material value, for I have so little compared to most,

and so mush more compared to others.

No, I speak of contributions of self, because sometimes....

that is all I have to give.

What I need... what I want...is someone

someone to kiss me good morning, and love me through the night

What good is all the materiel wealth in the world

if I have no one with to share it with...someone to become

part of me...The second part of a once complete

and now incomplete

soul.

The unknown Fear

THE UNKNOWN FEAR

**********************

I was feeling so good, so wonderful!

Then all of a sudden,

this painfully horrifying fear...struck me.

It is a fear worse than one bought on by a nightmare

because

I am awake. So, I am scared...oh so scared!

It is a fear that makes me want to cry, but stops the tears.

It is a fear that makes me want to scream, but when I try,

no sound emits.

I cry and cry, scream and scream, but no tears and sound is released.

I know that I am afraid, and what I am afraid of is real.

I know it is definitely there. It even lets me know it is there and to be feared.

I just don't know what it is I fear...it won't reveal itself to me!

Therefore, I do not know why this fear exist.

Is it a fear of Justice or injustice?

Is it something I have forgotten... or recalled...but not yet aware?

All I know is that this unknown fear is there!

Maybe knowing this fear is present should be comfort enough.

Maybe not!

At least I can I-dentify it as...an unknown fear.

When I think of Our Sacred Love

When I Think of Our Sacred Love

****************************

BY: Keith H. Seymour

*******************

I kiss your lips hello, each morning

before I open my eyes.

Then when awake... your are not there.

When this reality appears... my heart dies.

I reach over to the night table,

where your smiling picture is adorned

by the beads of Holy Church and Holy Mother.

I then pick it up and kiss your smile,

knowing for me...you are my Love...There is no other.

Each night, I pray Holy Beads for our eternally earthly union.

I kiss you goodnight, close my eyes, and for a few brief unconscious hours,

We are consciously together... eating tomatoes, and tuyo

Mahal and Inday...as I dream of you, and you of me,

we happily cry.

For, I know you do the same of my picture and your Holy Beads

in your far away place.

As you close your eyes, and picture my true and faithful love for you,

that is so unmistakably... upon my face .

Your day is my night, my day your night,

and even though separated by thousands of miles, distant lands. and many seas,

we are joined together, by God given love... as our mutual keys.

Someday...and the sooner the better.

whether our eyes our physically open or closed,

we will mutually and concurrently kiss...when our Holy Beads and lives

by God are joined Together.

The Throw-a-way Person

 The Throw-a-Way Person

**********************

BY: Keith H. Seymour

*******************

                                                 The Throw-a-Way Person

                                                  ********************

                                                                                                             BY: Keith H. Seymour

                                                                                                             *****************

I am just a throw a way person

continually attempting to prove

that I valuable... enough to be kept... to receive with sincerity

acknowledgment

of my worth as a person, as someone who deserves to be loved and appreciated ...for himself.

I refuse to be appreciated... merely for the material wealth

that I am perceived to produce, provide or possess.

I do not consider it appreciation to be loved

out of the perception...that I may be utilized

to satisfy your sick fantasies, mine, or both...concurrently.

I am a person.. a man

who feels and loves.

In spite of what any stereotypical

female, boss, or anyone else in society may wish to believe

out of their own... self-imposed, or society imposed ignorance,

I have the ability to experience, create, feel, and exhibit

compassion.

I was not created for the purpose of being a throw-a-way person.

So I won;t be!!!

I will not be... simply because

I actively refuse... to be!!!

The Problem with Butterflies

                                                       The problem with Butterflies

                                                    ***************************

                                                                                                                     BY: Keith H. Seymour

                                                                                                                      ********************

If I were to go back...and change the past,

I would likely “presently” change the future.

so If I went back to correct my mistakes,

and prevented myself

from

hurting...and being hurt by others,

would I be ignorant because of mistakes not learned from, or would learn from other mistakes

Maybe mistakes that.. are not as bad, or even worse..

Would I be more compassionate

and a better judge of character, or would I be hurt by... and hurt

a different set of people?

Remaining just as hurtful and vulnerable as I am now?

Is it safer to deal with the horrors of the past or to find a way to eliminate them?

So as to have the possibility of a better future without knowing...weather

our futures will be the equivalent of something

that is a comfortable coolness, a hotter hell, or a life that is just as complacent and tepid

as that current state of being?

These are problems owned by even the most beautiful butterfly.

That butterfly... flaps it's glorious wings

without knowing

the whether, wherefore, or why.

Elements of Ilight

                                                              Elements of Light

                                                            ****************

                                                                                                                      BY: Keith H. Seymour

                                                                                                                       *******************

                                                  Twilight is the Existence of Hope.

                                                  Sunlight is the Presence of Love.

                                                 Dusk is the Transition from Love to Darkness.

                                                Darkness is the Presence of nothing but

                                                Fear, Ignorance, and Hate... Falsely...

                                               Existing as the one and only entity

                                                                    of Truth

FAces

                                                                  Faces

                                                                  *****

                                                                                                       By: Keith H. Seymour

                                                                                                        ******************

We all wear faces, several different faces.

We wear them...Concurrently and at different times.

We all wear faces, different faces.

Not masks, for masks hide what is really there.

Whereas, our various faces

actually exhibited what is truly not seen by ourselves...or others.

Not roles...not parts we play in our lives....but faces of the whole

faces that fill....and sometimes create

voids.

We all wear faces, many different faces

that shows sides, parts, each portion of our entire being.

These faces are both good and bad.

Sometimes we recognize them...sometimes not.

Sometimes remembered... by others, sometimes forgot.

We all wear faces. Yes! We all wear several different faces.

Just because we do not recognize them when present, does not mean they are not there.

Just because others do not see them does not mean for us they truly don't care.

We all wear faces. Yes, we all wear faces.

Some discovered, some still hidden.

I have them, and so do you.

We find out about them, when we least expect to.

These faces are never false, and though they sometimes exhibit our faults, t

hey are still “apparently” true.

The problem of mere mortals finding out we have so many faces,

is are often surprised as discovering how, when, where, and why they show up/

oftentimes causing us to question who were are, and why we're here.

Yes, we all wear many faces, that whether we know it or not,

are always with us. They are always there..

QUESTIONS

QUESTIONS

BY: Keith H. Seymour

Is it easier....to let the living go

After

they have abandoned...you

Or

they dead...whom you have loved

but

never had to chance to, or were prevented from saying goodbye?

Is it easier to accept the differences of others

who are different....even... if they never accept you?

Or

to deny....a known truth....to be accepted

by

a large group of people...who insist

the specific truth must be buried

for the world to be comforted....even if it is comforted with a lie?

I have felt alone... in a room full of people,

that claim to love and respect me.

Even though they do not understand me...and have never really tried.

I have felt alone... when nobody else was around to comfort me.

Yet, I have never figured out

which feeling of loneliness is worse

or

even if they are equal.

If God intended for mortals to know the answer to various questions,

why are some questions not answered when sought?

Will people ever know the answers to these unanswered questions?

If so, when? If not, why not?

It is all so...questionable!

Sighting...the Truth

Sighting...the Truth

BY: Keith H. Seymour

If we were blind...and touched

the other's

hands, eyes, face, or any other part....of our physical being,.

how would we know... the hue, shade or color

of the other's skin?

Unless....

somehow... verbally.... revealed.

It is therefore, not what we see with the eyes placed within in head

that matters,

but the eyes from within... and that express our true selves.

The eyes placed within our hearts...our souls.

I do not know....whether or not there would be

less

fear, hate, prejudice, or war

if the world population suddenly lost the ability of physical sight

or even

If God in his wisdom, had never endowed mortals with this gift.

Therefore, forcing mortals to use the eyes from within.

I only know

that true blindness....comes not from loss of physical sight

but.

The inability...or refusal

to see others and ourselves...using the eyes placed within

our hearts and souls

Ethnically Insulting....Ethnically Incorrect

Ethnically Insulting....Ethnically Incorrect

BY: Keith H. Seymour

There are those who say:

“Don't use the “N Word,” and dis-respect my race!”

Which causes myself

and others to wonder:

Why so many others do it as a pleasantry

to their fellow ethnic's face.

The Italians, Latinos, Polish and Mexicans do not

derogatate.... themselves

by saying thing like:

You're a really cool Dago, Dude. It's good to see you my fellow... WOP.

This is Paul my Pollock Pal.

Hey! How's my favorite fellow Spick?

Also, unless you want a fight,

you better have proof

that someone whose ancestry is of the Emerald Isle,

is a drunken wife beater-

before calling him an... “Irish Mick.”

So someone, please explain to me!

Cause, I just can;t figure.

How descendents of people who fought for their dignity,

do not see anything wrong

with greetings such as:

“Hey buddy! How's my favorite Nigga'?

Neither African-American's or in general,

society,

will ever be free of

psychological slavery,

until we rid ourselves/... and others of such

ignorant mentality.

So, whatever, comedians, rap artist, and pop cultures does,

you make the final choice.

After all, they don't speak for you.

They don't use... YOUR voice.