Presence of a Need

Presence of a need

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By: Keith H. Seymour

You ask me what I want...What I need

that you and other who care about me,

can give.

Some present on a holiday, my birthday, or some other occasion.

I tell you....”I don't know.”

You reply lovingly: “take your time.

Except that what I told you...is a lie.

What I want...what I need...What I can use,

can't be wrapped up in fancy paper,nice ribbons, or anything

you can attach

a store bought.... or even a home made lovingly made card.

No. What I need cannot be purchased, or given.

What I need comes from me.

It is a sense of self, the knowledge that I am appreciated for me.

I need to know that my contributions are worth something

Not just those of material value, for I have so little compared to most,

and so mush more compared to others.

No, I speak of contributions of self, because sometimes....

that is all I have to give.

What I need... what I want...is someone

someone to kiss me good morning, and love me through the night

What good is all the materiel wealth in the world

if I have no one with to share it with...someone to become

part of me...The second part of a once complete

and now incomplete

soul.

The Throw-a-way Person

 The Throw-a-Way Person

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BY: Keith H. Seymour

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                                                 The Throw-a-Way Person

                                                  ********************

                                                                                                             BY: Keith H. Seymour

                                                                                                             *****************

I am just a throw a way person

continually attempting to prove

that I valuable... enough to be kept... to receive with sincerity

acknowledgment

of my worth as a person, as someone who deserves to be loved and appreciated ...for himself.

I refuse to be appreciated... merely for the material wealth

that I am perceived to produce, provide or possess.

I do not consider it appreciation to be loved

out of the perception...that I may be utilized

to satisfy your sick fantasies, mine, or both...concurrently.

I am a person.. a man

who feels and loves.

In spite of what any stereotypical

female, boss, or anyone else in society may wish to believe

out of their own... self-imposed, or society imposed ignorance,

I have the ability to experience, create, feel, and exhibit

compassion.

I was not created for the purpose of being a throw-a-way person.

So I won;t be!!!

I will not be... simply because

I actively refuse... to be!!!

Discourse of Discovery

Discourse of Discovery
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BY: Keith H. Seymour
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There was a time…. Once….
No, Often… when you were for me.
You were always with me.
even when
you weren’t actually there.
You see,
I still remember
a time when
You and your spirit
strengthened me.
Even when I didn’t need it,
and always ...when I did.
I never even had to ask for your compassion.
It was always there.
Maybe because you knew that
I feared asking for it
would be a sign of weakness
in your eyes also?
I don’t know.
I just know…
that your compassion was always there.

Ah yes, you and your spirit
would thrust your strengths upon me.
As if they were… hot coals
used to heal my pain.
You had such a loving spirit,
that came with the precious gift
of unconditional love.
It gave me such strength,
and I cherished it.
So, I’ve always tried to provide you
with the same.
Though, I am not sure
that you know this.
Not anymore, not now.

Yes, you are still here…
but not really. Not anymore.
You see… Now,
even when you are present,
I often can’t find you.
You now cause me to feel…
abandoned and alone.
Especially when you are
present or near.
So, even when I know that you are present,
your being of presence…
isn’t.
So now I wonder:
Why do I need or want
You or the presence of your spirit,
when I know that they cause me such pain!!!?

This question has at times
wounded me in ways that
only
I can know…
yet not completely understand.
Causing me to ask,
“Why and when
in my very presence
did you leave me!”

I ask because, well…
I don’t know
when or why
your approval became so conditional-
based upon the status of
such perfect graces.
After all, I know
your weaknesses and failings,
and although it may seem
Imperfectly so to you,
I have always tried to show
how much for you, I care.

I mean…
are my human frailties and errors
so inhumane that I don’t deserve
any sort of pardon,
or chance at restitution
for whatever horrible thing
that I have done to you!?
If so,
then such a horrendous sin
I should most certainly be made aware!
Yet, it seems such a disposition
you are either afraid to explore or know,
or yourself completely unaware.

So whatever the cause of your
sudden secession
from me,
I just want you to know that
I am sincerely sorry.
Yes, I am sorry
if you believe that
your life, mine, or someone else’s
has been a let down for you!
I can’t control that!
I am only able to deal with
the good and bad things
that makes us
me and you.
So I’ll no longer accept
that I must live with your attitude
of judgmental vain-glory.

You see,
it is your problem, not mine
that I am not like you,
or that I am who or what
You
wish me to be!
No. I will no longer allow you
to dictate that or any other
pretense
to me.

Oh yes,
I know
I am not perfect or infallible
like you.
I admit that I have flaws.
My name is not Narcissus!
I admit it! Its true!
I realize that you may not agree,
but I see no healthy logic in apologizing
for being mortal.

Yes, I make mistakes,
and yes…
I’ve even been known to fail.
Yet, in spite of all of this,
I know I’m a good person
Who has and will again
at life succeed.

So, whether you like it or not,
I am still proud to say
I’ve chosen to be the real and special me
Anyway!

Understanding a Truly Valuable Gift

“Understanding A Truly Valuable Gift”
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BY: Keith H. Seymour
I have so little
Yet at the same time…I have so much.
I have less then most,
Yet so many more have so much less than I.
So is it sinful or vain for greater wealth to vie?
Even if such added wealth, would not be hoarded by me,
But shared with even needier children of God
So often ignored… by society?

I have all that I need…God willingly!
Still my needs want more than I have… materially.
I certainly have more material wealth
Than HE…whose head was adorned by thorns…
And whose body enshrouded “The first HOLY robe.
It was HIS test, trials, and tribulations… not mine
That were far greater then Peter, Moses, and Job!

Though I possess by mortal Standards,
So very little wealth,
A far higher power has Gifted me
With a “wealth of Friends,”
That some may number… “just a few.”

It is “this generous spirit” that reminds me…
I am to extend the same “Loving Gift”
In a manner and time that “God… not I decides
“For me to.”